What I've Been Reading (and feeling guilty about)

I've been reading THE CLASSICS, or at least trying to read the classics.  There are many books which I feel I should have read that I haven't yet.  I'm trying to make up for that.

Most of these books are available free on my Kindle.  Moby Dick and The Brothers Karamazov are two examples.  I'm trying to read both.

But I have to admit, I've bogged down in Moby, and I fear the same may happen in The Brothers.  My life is lived in short bursts of activity.  Not often do I have the time to just sit and read and concentrate and spend a good amount of time thinking about what I have read.

All these wonderful time saving devices in my house, and I have less time than ever.  Or so I tell myself.  Even when I may have the opportunity, I feel guilty for indulging myself.  I always feel like there is something else I should be doing.

I should repaint the trim in my house.

There is a lot that could be done in the yard.

There are all kinds of projects I could be doing at the farm.

I need to go visit family more.

I should be spending more time with my kids.

I need to be working on my novel.

I should be doing more to find a job and help support my family.

Please don't think these reasons are in order of importance.  They just occur to me in random order, so I wrote them that way.

One day last week, I didn't feel well.  It started as a minor stomach thing, but was exacerbated by the fact that I didn't have any coffee in the house.  If I don't get my dose of caffeine in the morning, bad things happen.  That day, I somehow lost the drive to do anything else except read.  I read all of The Moon and Sixpence by Somerset Maugham.  If you haven't read him, you should.  Particularly The Razor's Edge.

I thoroughly enjoyed myself.  Between bouts of napping my way through a migraine and reading, the entire day got away from me.  Of course, guilt set in later, but I did enjoy myself.  I just needed the excuse of not feeling well to avoid the guilt long enough to read.

I need to read more.  Before life became so complicated, I read so much.  When I was a teenager, when I was in the Army, when I was in college, I read so much.  For anyone who thinks all their time is being absorbed by high school or college or the military, you have no idea.  Have a family.  Have a home.  Even without a job, I have no time.  I always stay busy.  There is something about the age I am, and my circumstances, that makes me feel guilty when I do things by myself which I enjoy.