Friday, February 22, 2013

Eye Love Her Still


The pink triangle at the inside corner of your eye is called the lacrimal caruncle, or caruncula lacrimalis.  You should know this.  I married my wife because she had the most beautiful caruncula lacrimalis, bar none, that I had ever seen.  There was a lot to be said for the rest of her, too.  Her sclera were very clear, her iris a unique shade somewhere between smoky gray and Persian green, and her pupil seemed to have a healthy response to changes in light levels.

I could tell she liked me, too.  Even though the light at our time of first meeting was sufficient to read smaller fonts, her pupil remained somewhat dilated.  This was a dead giveaway.

In no time, we were dating.  I can honestly say I do not remember asking her out, but I can remember having coffee with her.  The effect of the caffeine on her extra-ocular muscles was amusing.  Her saccades remained regular, with both eyes making quick, simultaneous movements, but her micro-saccades increased in rapidity and regularity.  It could be said that her eyes were dancing.  I must have been feeling romantic, because I remember having the distinct impression that her eyes were dancing merrily.  Her superior rectus muscles appeared to be particularly affected.

Dating led to an exclusive relationship, and the next logical step was engagement.  Traditionally, I went to one knee, and as I looked up awaiting a response, she hesitated, turning her head at the sound of the horn of a passing train.  For a brief moment, her vestibulo-ocular reflex initiated, keeping her eyes on me, then her eyes focused on the train, and her optokinetic reflex was a thing of beauty.  The smooth pursuit, followed by the flourish of the saccade took my breath away.  At last her gaze returned to me, and the convergence as she focused on me made my heart leap.  She said yes.

A short engagement lead to a small, private ceremony.  We stood before the justice of the peace and exchanged vows, our lenses in accommodation due to our proximity to one another.  At last, the ceremony over, we retired to my apartment to enjoy our honeymoon.

Alone and intimate as we had never before been, I hesitate to reveal what happened.  I will not go into detail.  I am a gentleman.  Suffice it to say, I soon became familiar with her vitreous body, and was pleased to discover she had a fine aqueous humor.

That has been many years ago now.  My wife is growing older, as am I.  Oh, there may be some presbyopia and a touch of arcus senilus.  I cannot complain, however, as I myself am somewhat subject to posterior vitreous detachment.  Still, we are together.  When I look at her, I still see those caruncula lacrimalis I fell in love with all those years ago.

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